First dates can feel like a game of 20 Questions — what to say, what to hold back, and how much your nerves will actually cooperate. Honesty is key, but knowing how honest to be is just as important. Here’s how to strike a balance that’s genuine and thoughtful, all while keeping God at the center.
Start With Truth, but Keep It Light
You don’t need to reveal your deepest secrets on the first date. Be open about who you are, but keep it simple and positive. Proverbs 12:22 reminds us, "The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in people who are trustworthy." Speak truthfully about your life, your passions, and your faith, but it’s okay to save the heavier stuff for later.
Talk About Your Values
It’s a great idea to share what matters most to you. Do you prioritize your faith, family, or certain goals? Expressing this early helps see if you’re on the same page. Just as Amos 3:3 says, "Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?" Being clear on your values sets a solid foundation without overloading the conversation.
Avoid Oversharing
Honesty is good, but oversharing can make things awkward fast. Your date doesn’t need a detailed list of your past mistakes, financial struggles, or family drama right away. Think of it this way — would you feel comfortable hearing that information from a stranger? Timing is everything, and there’s wisdom in guarding your heart (Proverbs 4:23).
Be Honest About Your Intentions
What are you looking for in a relationship? While you don’t have to map out your five-year plan, you should be upfront if your goal is something serious versus casual. Being clear about this avoids confusion and makes sure you’re both respecting each other’s time and feelings.
Listen as Much as You Speak
Honesty isn’t just about what you say — it’s also about how you listen. Paying attention to your date shows respect and genuine interest. Plus, it helps you learn who they really are. James 1:19 encourages us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak," and that advice is golden for dates.
Honesty Builds Trust
The goal of being honest is to create trust, not control the outcome. Share from the heart, but leave room for God to guide the relationship. After all, He’s the one writing the story.
When you keep honesty in balance, your first date doesn’t have to feel like an interview — it can simply be a lovely start to getting to know someone new.
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