How To Create a Fair Relationship

Relationships can feel complicated at times. You might wonder if things are even or if you're giving more than your partner. But here’s the truth: a fair relationship isn’t about splitting everything 50/50. It’s about both of you giving your all — 100%. Some days, you’ll need to carry a little extra, and some days, your partner will step up for you. That’s normal, and it’s what makes a relationship strong.

Fairness Isn’t About Keeping Score

It’s easy to fall into the trap of tracking who did what. “I washed the dishes, so you should do the laundry.” That’s not how fairness works in a relationship. Instead of keeping score, focus on being there for each other. If your partner is having a rough week, maybe you handle a little more. When you need support, they can do the same for you. That’s the kind of teamwork that builds trust and love.

Remember, fairness doesn’t mean things are always equal. You bring different strengths to the table, and that’s a good thing!

Relationships Are Give and Take

Think of your relationship like a dance. Sometimes you lead, and other times, you follow. Maybe your partner is really good at comforting you when you’re sad, but you’re better at making plans for the future. That’s giving and taking, and it keeps your relationship balanced.

Here’s the key, though: communication is everything. When something feels off, talk about it. Be honest, but also be kind. Listening to each other will help you find that sweet spot of fairness.

When Your Partner Doesn’t Step Up

Give and take are part of every healthy relationship. You step up for your partner, and they do the same for you. But when one person is always giving, and the other isn’t pulling their weight, something’s off. It stops feeling like teamwork and starts feeling unfair. A fair relationship should never be one-sided, where one person does all the heavy lifting.

Signs You’re Being Taken Advantage Of:

• You’re always the one making plans or putting in effort.

• You feel exhausted while your partner seems indifferent.

• Your needs are often overlooked or dismissed.

• You keep forgiving them without seeing any real change.

• They expect you to fix problems but don’t take responsibility.

What To Do About It

First, have an honest and kind conversation. Share how you’re feeling with “I” statements, like “I feel unappreciated when…” instead of placing blame. Explain the changes you’d like to see and give them a chance to step up.

If nothing changes after talking and giving it time, ask yourself if staying is healthy for you. Sometimes, it’s okay to take a break or even walk away, especially if the relationship is one-sided or draining. Healthy love should feel like a team effort, and no one deserves to be taken for granted.

Trust That God Is at Work

Life isn’t always fair, but God is. Isaiah 30:18 says, “The Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all who wait for him.” When you’re feeling frustrated or like things aren’t fair, you can take it to Him in prayer. Ask for wisdom and patience, and trust that God will guide both of you toward fairness.

Keep Giving Your 100%

A fair relationship isn’t about perfection, and it isn’t about tallying who did what. It’s about giving your all, leaning on each other, and trusting God’s perfect justice. When you give your 100% and encourage your partner to do the same, you’ll find a fairness that brings peace and joy to your relationship.