Making Friends as an Adult: Overcoming Awkward First Encounters

Let's be honest. Making friends as an adult can feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded. You wonder, “Am I talking too much? Am I not talking enough? Do they even want a new friend?” But here's the thing — God created us for connection, and He can help guide us through even the most awkward first encounters. You’re not in this alone, and with a little faith and a few practical tips, you can push through those uncomfortable moments and build meaningful friendships.

Start With a Smile and a Prayer

First impressions matter, but they don’t need to be perfect. A smile can go a long way in helping everyone feel at ease. And before you approach anyone, pray about it. Ask God for courage and wisdom, and trust Him to put the right words in your mouth. Philippians 4:13 reminds you, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That includes starting a new conversation, no matter how nervous you feel.

Find Common Ground

It’s easier to connect with someone when you share interests. Did you notice they’re reading a book you’ve read or maybe wearing a T-shirt with your favorite band? Bring it up! Something simple like, “Hey, is that a good book? I’ve been meaning to read it,” can spark an easy first conversation.

Church events or volunteering opportunities are also great places to meet like-minded people. These settings naturally give you something to talk about. Plus, you’ll already have faith as a shared foundation.

Ask Questions

One of the best ways to build a connection is to show genuine interest in the other person. Instead of stressing about what to say, ask them about their life. Questions like, “How did you end up in this city?” or “What do you like to do for fun?” can uncover common interests and lead to deeper conversations.

Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” Listening well and asking thoughtful questions are signs that you care about connecting on a real level.

Remember, A Little Awkwardness Is Normal

We all feel awkward sometimes, and that’s okay! If you say something clumsy or feel the conversation hit a lull, don’t sweat it. Just laugh it off. Friendships take time to grow. Try to enjoy the process and learn something from each new experience.

Be Patient

Not every first encounter will instantly bloom into a close friendship, and that’s okay! Pray for guidance, and keep putting yourself out there. Trust that God will bring the right people into your life when the time is right.

You were made for connection, and God will walk with you every step of the way. Take a deep breath, trust Him, and go make some new friends!