Should I Be Honest With My BF/GF Even If It Will Hurt Their Feelings?
- Upward
- 1 day ago
- 2 min read
Do you have something on your mind but don’t know if you should say it? Maybe you’re worried it’ll upset your boyfriend or girlfriend or even ruin the relationship. Here’s the thing — we’ve all been there. Honesty can feel tricky, especially when you care about the other person. But knowing when and how to be truthful is really important for any relationship.
Why Honesty Matters
You want your relationship to be healthy, right? Honesty is a big part of that. When you’re open with your partner, it builds trust. Trust is what makes both of you feel safe. Without it, little cracks can start to form, and those cracks can mess up even the strongest relationships.
The Bible gives some great advice, too. Proverbs 12:22 says, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.” That verse shows how much truth matters — not just to your partner but also to God.
Will Honesty Always Feel Good?
Nope, not always. Telling the truth can sometimes sting, and hearing it can sting, too. Imagine this scenario: Your partner asks if something they said bothered you. You could say, “No, it’s fine,” but is it really fine? Eventually, those bottled-up feelings can lead to bigger problems. Speaking up might feel hard in the moment, but it clears the air.
Being honest doesn’t mean being harsh, though. Ephesians 4:15 talks about “speaking the truth in love.” That means being kind in how you say things. You can share your feelings without making the other person feel attacked or judged.
How To Be Honest Without Hurting
Here are a few tips to keep in mind when being honest:
Choose the right moment. If they’re already stressed or upset, it might not be the best time.
Pray before you share. Ask God to give you the words to speak — and to give your partner the ears to hear.
Be clear but gentle. Use “I” statements like, “I feel hurt when…” instead of blaming.
Listen to their side. Being honest is a two-way street. After you share, give them space to share, too.
While you may not intend to hurt your partner’s feelings — and you can take every step to soften the blow — their emotions are ultimately beyond your control. Sharing something negative or difficult may naturally cause pain, no matter how carefully you deliver it. What you can control is how you approach the situation. Be honest, speak with respect, and show care in your words. Doing your best to tell the truth thoughtfully is what truly matters.
Honesty Is God’s Policy 100% of the Time
Being honest with your partner isn’t just about keeping the relationship strong; it’s about doing the right thing in God’s eyes. Truth matters, even when it’s hard to say or hear. Sometimes honesty might feel uncomfortable, and yes, it could even make the other person question things. But honesty, whether it’s in the little details or the big situations, shows integrity. It means you value the relationship enough to be real, even if it stings for a moment. At the end of the day, doing what’s right is always worth it.